Tired

I´m tired. Tired of waiting for something that will never come. Tired of letting you have that power over me. Tired of not being my own owner, nor owner of my reason.

The eyes can´t even be open, the lips are dry and cracked. The day goes back too night without I even noticing it. Everything that I can think about it´s you, only you and the tired I am for liking you. Everything is clear in my head, I know that you never looked at me the same way I look at you. And you have all the right to do so. You are much more than what I deserve. You are the living form of my ideal, but if you ask me I can´t even know right know if is like that or the other way around.

I´m tired. It´s hard to deal with lost, and you are, even though you were never truly mine, my biggest one. I feel like leaving behind a big part of me. The part of me that leave me blushing like a little girl. A girl with dreams and hopes, ready to conquer the world, with you by my side.  The part of me that steels smiles and tears in a uncontrolled way.

I´m so tired of pretending that I am alright, that you don´t matter to me, when I know you know the power you have over me.

It´s unthinkable seeing my life without you, and with you it´s impossible. I will never be happy with what I get from here. Any way out are full of pain.

I keep suffering, feeling your lost but you are not with me in that pain, you ignore and don´t even lose time thinking about me. Why should I? I´m tired.

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